1) Water main breaks in Detroit destroying cars, consuming whole neighborhoods. While potholes on Evergreen and Greenfield are destroying cars and marooning neighborhoods.

2) Samuel L Jackson teaches a KTLA entertainment reporter never to mistake him for Lawrence Fishburne again when he schools the dude on live TV that Fish is the black guy doing the car commercial, he's the black guy doing the what's in your wallet commercial, and Morgan Freeman is the black guy doing the other credit card commercial.

3) A suicide bomber instructor in Iraq accidentally detonated himself and destroyed 21 of his students on Monday. Thank you careless terrorist!

4) Hot time in Winter Olympics, Sochi is 66 degrees, causing some of the outdoor events to melt down.

5)A clerk at the e-cigarette store in London responding to a robber with a hammer by grabbing his nuts. The standoff lasted 15 minutes til other patrons came in to save the day. His final indignity? She told police there was very little to hang on to there.