State of The Union Drinking Game….Cheers!
Good news, America! February 5th, 2019 is upon us, which means President Donald Trump will be delivering his State of the Union Address tonight. This means a living room of fun for all…
Good news, America! February 5th, 2019 is upon us, which means President Donald Trump will be delivering his State of the Union Address tonight. This means a living room of fun for all of those who like to have a cocktail or 50.
IF YOU DO NOT WATCH TONIGHT:
1. Turn off your television and just drink uninterruptedly until it’s over.
IF YOU DO WATCH:
EVENT | # of Drinks |
| Every time he says.... | |
| Trumpian Superlatives | |
| Huge ("yuuuuuge") | 1 |
| best | 1 |
| biggest | 1 |
| embiggened | something cromulent |
| greatest | 1 |
| tremendous | 1 |
| scrumtrulescent | |
| Foreign Affairs | |
| ISIS | Announce that there is no alcohol left; take 1 drink |
| Iran | 1 |
| Nuclear Deal | 1 |
| China ("Jina") | 1 |
| tariffs | 1 of something imported or 2 of something domestic |
| trade war | 1 (+1 if he says they're easy to win) |
| unfair | 1 |
| Russia | 1 shot Russian vodka |
| Maduro or Guaido | 1 (+1 if he pronounces it correctly) |
| free trade | 1 |
| fair trade | 1 |
| NAFTA or USMCAbr> | 1 Molson/Corona/Crown Royal/tequila; pour out and replace it with a nearly identical drink |
| Domestic Policy | |
| taxes | 1, plus an imperceptibly small added bit (+15 if you're a corporation) |
| stock market | 1 |
| Federal Reserve | 1 (+1 if he takes credit for the Fed's recent decisions) |
| FBI | 1, furtively |
| Mueller | 1 (+3 if you've testified before his team) |
| infrastructure | Announce that you're pouring 1 drink; pour it; never drink it |
| coal | 1 (+1 if "clean coal") |
| immigration | 1 of something imported |
| DACA or Dreamers | 1 of something domestic, but with a foreign-sounding name |
| border | 1 |
| wall | 1 |
| Wall wall wall! All you need is wall! | 1 Harvey Wallbanger |
| libel | 1 of something unfairly maligned |
| Obamacare | 1 |
| Kavanaugh | BEER! Then enter the drink into your calendar. |
| judges | 1 |
| Space Force | 1 |
| environment or climate change | ginger beer & Jack ("A Dark and Stormy Daniels") |
| Trumpisms | |
| Electoral College | more than anyone has ever drunk before... j/k, 1 |
| Crooked Hillary | 1 |
| Believe me | 1, while bracing for the lie that follows |
| "Many people are saying" | 1, while bracing for the lie that follows |
| fake news | 1 swig of nonalcoholic "beer" |
| America First | 1 of something with a 1930s vintage |
| Repeats the end of a sentence for emphasis | 1 |
| If/Every time he.... | |
| references #MeToo or Time's Up | 1 Cosmopolitan |
| mentions any epidemic, real or imagined | 1 |
| sexually harasses someone during the speech | 1 |
| threatens someone during the speech | 1 |
| plugs one of his properties | 1 (+1 if it's Trump Tower Moscow) |
| mentions one of his kids other than Ivanka | 1 |
| mentions one of his departed White House staff | 1 |
| mentions an indicated/convicted/imprisoned former adviser/staffer/campaign aide | 1 |
| refers to someone by their nickname (e.g. "Cryin' Chuck," "Nancy") | 1 |
| refers to his "brain" or his "genius" | 1 |
| tweets during the speech | 1 bonus +2 if he delivers the entire speech via tweetstorm |
| says something untrue | nobody could survive drinks for this |
| wears a MAGA hat or defends others who wear MAGA hats (i.e. the Covington kids) | 1 |
| Special Wall Section For More Wall! When he... | |
| Explains how Mexico is really paying for it | 1 |
| Threatens another shutdown | 1 |
| Threatens to use emergency powers to fund wall | 1 |
| Describes the border situation as a "crisis" | 1 |
| Discusses what the wall can be made of (e.g. concrete, "steel slats") | 1 |
| Mentions a "caravan" | 1 |
| Introduces a special guest child who was kidnapped at the border by ICE | That's not funny. No drinks for you! |
| Every time the camera shows.... | |
| the First Lady | 1 |
| Ivanka, and not the First Lady | 1 |
| your congressional representative | 1 |
| a standing ovation from HALF of Congress | 1 |
| Other | |
| if he ends the speech with anything other than "God bless the United States," or equivalent | 1 |
| if the speech is under an hour | Finish your drink and have another |
| DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE BONUS GAME | |
| If she opens with, (a) "So, about those Georgia ballots..." (b) "Oy" (while shaking head) (c) "What the [expletive] was that?! | 1 |
| If she references the pee pee tape | 1 of something golden |
| If she references the Russia investigation | 1 of vodka |
| Dreamers or DACA | 1 |
| "Trump Shutdown" | 1 |
| subpoena or investigation | 1 |
Please note that we do not now, nor have we ever, encouraged irresponsible use of alcohol. It is important to know your own limits and to act accordingly. We discourage improper use of alcohol.
