Breaking Wind News: One Cheek Squeak Leads to Arrest: Doni’s Tootorial in Fartology.
Police were on the hunt for two fugitives when they lost the pair in the woods near Nottinghamshire, England…. their cover was blown… by the breaking of wind.
One of the arresting officers said, “I heard him letting rip and followed the noises to a bush.” Brought to justice by your own body. Just wow.
In researching this story, I tried to avoid the classic word “fart.” I thought it might sound too vulgar, but I do find the topic of flatulence hilarious, so what to do? I decided to research alternative words. Here are my findings:
Most Common: “let one rip,” “toot,” and “cut the cheese.”
Less Common: “bottom burp,” “air biscuit,” “rim slide,” “tail scatter,” “orange banana,” “raspberry tart,” “breezer,” “ringbark,” and “shoot a bunny.”
TRUMP – this is not opinion, just what I found in researching the word. “This word, meaning ‘to fart,’ dates back to the 15th century. It is derived from the sound of a trumpet.”
“Blowing raspberries” or some other fart noise blown by mouth is also called “A Bronx Cheer.” This term dates back to 1908.
Side note: the average person farts 5 to 15 times a day.
I think we all learned something. Pffft