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Donielle Flynn

Weekdays 10 a.m. - 3 p.m.

My son's finished product. What grade would you give this?

Tales of a 2021 Middle Schooler:

My son is new to middle school.  He has classes that we had to look up to find out what they were all about… not joking.  LME stands for “Life Management Education.”  Life skills? I’m down with that.  The first skill they’re learning is sewing.  OK… new experience, I’m in!  My son, Jake, is new to the world of sewing.  If I’d known it was coming, we would have practiced, but I didn’t.  He missed three days of school (he was sick, then we needed Covid test, negative thank God, but three days out).  Being out puts you behind.  Additionally, he sucks at sewing.  His friend, Kenny, has been helping Jake TREMENDOUSLY.  Kenny has been threading Jake’s needle, tying knots at the end for him everything.  Before you say, “If I’d taken sewing in middle school I would have gotten my a** kicked,” remember that then is not NOW.  Kenny is a foot taller than most 6th graders and we’re pretty sure he’s going to be on the football team.  If anything, Kenny helps keep the bullies away from Jake.  Kenny can SEW.  I discovered this last night when Jake brought home his unfinished doll and told me, “It’s due tomorrow.”  I’m thinking, “Holy hell.  This thing is nowhere near done.”  I asked Jake what the requirements were and he told me three different stitches needed to be used, Whip Stitch, Running Stich, and Blanket Stitch.  Dude, I had to YouTube all three.  I start working with Jake on how to thread the needle and how to put the knot on the end.  He says, “THAT’S WHAT KENNY DOES.”  I’m like, WTH? Did Kenny take sewing?  I am blown away.  Was I supposed to be teaching Jake to sew for years now?  What is happening?  Bottom line, we got the doll done and Jake and I had extra bonding time over SEWING.  It was unexpected, but I’m grateful for the time together.  Honestly, with kids and electronics these days, it’s hard to get quality time.  At least homework provides an opportunity for shared time he can’t dodge.  I am a bit frustrated that the teacher wouldn’t let Jake bring the doll home until the day before it was due, but whatever.  The project has the three different stitches and a button (another requirement) so I’m hoping he gets an “A” for effort.  I wanted to sew a second button on the back of the doll and give him a button butthole, but Jake said, “My friends will not find that funny.”  OK.  Fine…. but I think a button butthole would have been HILARIOUS!

Donielle Fynn is a Michigan native with two kids, two dogs, two cats and a love of yoga and all things classic rock.