8 year old joyride to Target

You know how some kids, maybe around 8 years old, spend their mornings playing with toys or watching cartoons? Well, not this girl. No, no. Our little Ohio outlaw had much bigger plans. Like, "Let me just casually take the family SUV out for a spin to Target" kind of plans.

Sunday morning rolls around, and her parents realize, “Hmm, haven’t seen little Susie in a bit.” Panic mode sets in, but little did they know, their daughter had already transformed into the youngest stunt driver Ohio has ever seen. Security footage later shows her just hopping into the car like, “I got this,” and driving 12 miles through highways, surface streets, and who knows what else. Oh, and where was she headed? Not to Grandma’s, not to the local park… Nope. Target. Because obviously.

When the authorities finally caught up with her, she was casually chilling at Starbucks INSIDE Target, sipping on a Frappuccino like she didn’t just pull off the joyride of the century. And in case you’re wondering, yes, the police were so impressed they let her finish the frappé before bringing her home. You just gotta respect the grind, right?

But hold on – it gets better. Our mini-rogue wasn’t just there for a caffeine fix. She rolled up with over 400 bucks in cash and had already dropped some of it on a little shopping spree. And somehow, no one batted an eye when an 8-year-old strolled in alone and bought… something. We still don’t know what. Is it a plushie? A flat-screen TV? A boat? Your guess is as good as mine.

Now, as impressive as it was that she pulled this off (and parked at Target – which is a feat for adults), she did admit to hitting a mailbox on her way. But hey, we’ve all been there, right?

No charges were filed because, well, she’s eight. And her parents? Probably grounding her until she’s eligible for a learner’s permit.