Amazon Delivers… a Little Too Much: Delivery Driver Caught Using Customer Porches as a Bathroom

Let’s be honest—when you think about Amazon Prime, you probably expect fast delivery, a smiley box on your porch, and maybe a random impulse buy showing up before you can remember why you ordered it. What you don’t expect? A free side order of human waste.

Yet that’s exactly what a couple of families in California got on Mother’s Day, courtesy of one very overwhelmed—or under-hydrated—Amazon delivery driver.

According to security footage (because of course there’s footage), a female Amazon delivery driver was caught using a family’s front porch as her personal bathroom. Not the side of the house. Not a bush. The front steps. That’s bold. That’s the kind of move that says, “I’ve given up on society and bladder control.”

The footage shows the driver committing what’s been politely described as both a “Number One” and a “Number Two.” Yes, she went full Amazon Prime Dump. She even left behind a dirty paper towel as a souvenir—as if the family needed more reason to cancel Subscribe & Save.

And if you think that was an isolated incident? Buckle up, Bezos.

That same morning, about a mile down the road, the same driver was caught on a second family’s security camera squatting and peeing on their brick walkway. It was right next to the spot where she delivered their package—because nothing says “two-day shipping” like turning your front yard into a rest stop.

To make matters even more surreal, she actually took a standard proof-of-delivery photo afterward. But somehow managed to crop out her own crime scene like she was editing out an ex from a vacation photo.

Yes, she delivered the package—and some trauma.

Amazon, for their part, responded quickly. They confirmed the driver was a contractor and released a statement saying:

Translation: We wish we could Prime-ship that memory out of your head.

No word yet on whether police are involved, but considering her face is clearly visible on both doorbell cams, and that you can’t just poop on porches and walk away like you’re some sort of suburban bear, it wouldn’t be shocking if charges were filed.

Now, to be fair (and just a little sympathetic), Amazon drivers are under intense pressure. There have been long-standing reports of workers not getting enough breaks, skipping meals, and being tracked down to the minute. So it’s not like she stopped to ruin someone’s Sunday morning just for fun.

Look, we’ve all had close calls. That “stuck in traffic, hands gripping the wheel, sweating and praying” kind of urgency. But most of us manage to find a gas station. Or a bush. Or anything that’s not someone’s welcome mat.

Instead, this woman chose the front step like it was her own personal throne room. If nothing else, it’s a strong reminder that “contactless delivery” sometimes needs a little more context.

In the end, Amazon acted quickly. The packages were delivered. The driver was removed. And two families now have stories that will absolutely destroy every other anecdote at the next neighborhood barbecue.

So if you’ve ever had a package show up late, or maybe tossed over your gate, just remember: at least the driver didn’t leave behind... extra content.

Happy belated Mother’s Day, California. Hope you had a clean doormat.