Louisiana Says You Can’t Drive 64 — Meanwhile, Here in Michigan…

Here in Michigan, the left lane is less of a travel lane and more of a psychological experiment. One car coasting at 63 can unite a dozen total strangers in shared, silent rage. Horns are tapped. Fingers are waved. Brakes are pumped just enough to let someone know they’re on thin ice, pal.

Michigan law does say drivers should stay to the right unless they’re passing or turning left. It’s in the books — MCL 257.634(3) if you’re the kind of person who enjoys reading traffic codes for fun. But enforcement is loose, and there’s no specific penalty for being just kind of... annoying.

You’re not going to jail for hanging out in the left lane here. The worst that’ll happen is someone in a Dodge Ram with three missing lug nuts passes you on the right while mouthing what you can only assume are not compliments.

Which brings us to Louisiana.

Starting this week, Louisiana passed a new law that takes the concept of “stay out of the left lane unless you’re passing” and cranks it up to an almost beautiful level of pettiness. Under the new law, you can now be ticketed simply for driving below the speed limit in the left lane — even if it’s just by one mile per hour.

Let that sink in: 64 in a 65, in the left lane? You could get pulled over.

First offense? $150.
Second? $250.
Third? $350 and — no joke — possible jail time.

Yes. Imagine explaining that to your cellmate.

“What are you in for?”
“Armed robbery. You?”
“Going 64.”

Now, Louisiana’s law does make some sense in theory. It’s designed to keep traffic flowing and reduce road rage situations where someone decides the left lane is their own personal Sunday cruise lane. And technically, most states — including Michigan — have similar “keep right” laws. But Louisiana just drew a hard line in the asphalt.

Here in Michigan, we tend to operate more on passive-aggressive etiquette. Everyone knows you shouldn’t sit in the left lane. But we also know you probably will. And we’ll let you know we don’t like it by tailgating from two inches away, then speeding around and cutting in front of you like we’re qualifying for Daytona.

It’s kind of our thing.

And it’s not like we’re all innocent here, either. We’ve seen the slow left-lane driver. Sometimes they’re doing five under, staring down at their phone, maybe updating their fantasy football lineup. Sometimes they’re in a Prius, sometimes in an F-350 with a mattress strapped to the roof. Occasionally it’s someone’s grandma, and occasionally it’s someone who drives like your grandma.

But regardless of vehicle or intent, left-lane loitering has become one of the great unspoken crimes of modern driving — somewhere between failing to zipper merge and speeding up when someone tries to pass.

And while Louisiana’s approach might seem extreme, there’s a part of every Michigan driver who sees it and thinks: “Well… maybe they’ve got a point.”

The truth is, we’ve all been there. We’ve all seen that one person who treats the left lane like a permanent residence. You’re on I-75, it’s 7:45 AM, and the guy in front of you is doing 62 in a 70 — with a fresh coffee, a trailer hitch, and no earthly concern for the line of cars behind him. In that moment, a $150 fine sounds not just reasonable, but merciful.

Of course, there’s a balance to strike. Speed limits are limits — not minimums — and aggressive driving is never the solution. But when traffic backs up because someone won’t move over, it creates risk. People start weaving. Tempers flare. And that’s when accidents happen.

That’s what Louisiana is trying to prevent — a kind of slow-motion road chaos that builds one mile at a time.

For now, Michigan seems content to stick with its more relaxed enforcement approach. But don’t be surprised if this becomes a talking point in other states. Once the word gets out that you can be thrown in jail for going the wrong speed in the wrong lane, it’s only a matter of time before other lawmakers take a look.

Until then, consider this a polite reminder from your friends in morning traffic: if you’re not passing anyone, move over.

It’s not just courteous — it might one day keep you out of handcuffs.