Wayne State And The Wednesday Drop Off – Will Big Jim Cry?
Just as a point of reference, it’s 8am on Saturday morning – I’m sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and some eggs, thinking about dropping off our son Adam at Wayne State on Wednesday. Am I dreading the “College Drop Off”? Not really. Not this time.
Wayne State Wednesday
First off, apologies if I go “deep thought dad” with this post…but here’s why it’s different this time taking our son to college (oldest boy went to Michigan Tech, that’s a ten hour drive and you feel like he’s in another country by the time you get home).
Back to Wayne State and Adam. One of the things I’m learning as a parent is to slow down and listen. Listen to what your kids say (without interjecting), listen to their friends when they’re over at the house (it’s a great way to learn about your kids world), listen to how your children talk with your significant other and/or family members (believe it or not, there are different conversations had with mom than you’ll EVER have with your kid).
So when Adam decided to study at Wayne State, I was excited (obviously) – but more importantly I was quiet and listened to him as we toured the music department (Adam wants to be a record producer – he’s already got a track on Spotify…look up Aydum).
I could see in his eyes he was visualizing himself at the school, in the hallways, collaborating with other artists and the vibe. Now this is where “DJ dad” could’ve easily interjected himself into the conversation and shared stories of Bob Seger, etc.
But I didn’t.
This was his moment.
Fast forward to our campus visit last month – getting a handle on where everything is (taking a tour of the Mike Illitch School of Business – Adam’s also getting a marketing degree). Listening to all the different groups and leaders explaining campus life to transfer students (like Adam), I found myself quietly taking it in…again. The campus is beautiful and everyone was incredibly professional and welcoming – that’s all I needed as a dad. I took more pleasure watching Adam again sizing up everything and visualizing what his school life would be like.
Being Quiet Is Tough
Of course we love our kids and want what’s best for them, right? And there are times when the life experiences we had are a wonderful tool.
But I tend to be quiet more.
At work I love it when Ryan Logan gets to talking about his kids, sharing the joy he and Heidi had when Finn put the cap back on his marker (Finn’s two – so this is a HUGE deal). I’m not sure Ryan is aware of his face when he tells stories about his family – there’s a sense of genuine excitement and pride. I love that. We spend so much time on social media looking for affirmation or confirmation that we sometimes miss moments like this – it’s great to see Ryan and Heidi soaking this stuff in…it matters. Being quiet and finding joy in things like the cap on a marker.
Taking Joy In Your Kids Life – My Perspective
And to be clear, taking joy in what your kids do in life has NOTHING to do with college. Wayne State is a wonderful school and I can’t wait to see what Adam does in his time there – but we take joy in seeing our kids on a path that makes THEM happy and fulfilled. I drive by Lee Industrial Contracting in Pontiac all the time and always wonder if they’d give me a tour. That place looks awesome, and when I see men and woman there heading out into the world to build stuff (or support it) it’s cool – they look happy and fulfilled.
So yeah, will it be an emotional day on Wednesday at Wayne State? Yes. But I’ll smile knowing my son is happy and moving forward with his life. And yes, I’ll probably be quiet.
