Submarine Attack In Traverse City
We’re waiting for this to be an episode on Law & Order. It involves a sub sandwich slap…or was it? Here’s the scoop (or slice). A sub sandwich was identified as the weapon in an alleged assault Monday, the Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s Office reported.
A 62-year-old Garfield Township woman is in custody at the county jail after she was accused of assaulting a male acquaintance with the sandwich, police said.
Capt. Chris Clark said police were called at 3:31 p.m. Monday about the alleged assault near Keystone Road in Garfield Township.
The woman told deputies that she had been offering her male acquaintance, 57, a bite of her sandwich when it fell and hit him in the face. (no really)
The man told police he felt threatened by her actions and accused her of assaulting him with the sandwich.
Alcohol was involved in the incident, Clark said. The case remains under investigation.
Was it a case of “slipping with the sandwich” 0r was he “hammered by a hoagie?” (see what I did there?)
Here’s my list of food here in Detroit you don’t want to be slapped with:
- Chicken Shawarma: Some of the shawarma here in Detroit can be the size of a bat – perfect to calibrate someone (or knock them out if they ask for cheese and mayo on it).
- Coneys: The chili, onion, mustard combo is sure to leave a stain on your clothes – and your face would look like a messy road construction project (has anyone gone to American and Lafayette Coney to check out which coney gives the better slap?)
- Scotty Simpson’s Fish: Beautifully fried and always served warm…just like justice when you hit someone with it.
- Bumpy Cake: It’s got the bumps to ensure you’ll always make contact and the cream filling on top is perfect for that after dinner slap.
Of course you can’t talk slap without “How I Met Your Mother” slaps.
