The Detroit Reviver: A Hangover Cure for the True Detroiters
Congratulations Detroit! If you’re reading this, it means you’ve survived a weekend filled with questionable decisions, mystery shots, and the kind of bad dance moves that should have stayed in the ‘80s. Maybe you hit the bars on Michigan Ave, overdid it at the Old Shillelagh, or went too hard at a house party where someone convinced you that green beer and Fireball make a good combination. (They don’t.)
But don’t worry, my friend. I’m here to help you undo some of last night’s damage with The Detroit Reviver, a carefully crafted elixir designed to kick your body back into working order using a secret weapon: Vernors.
Okay Detroit: Step 1: Acknowledge Your Poor Life Choices
Before we get to the drink, take a moment to accept the reality of your situation. Your head is pounding. Your mouth feels like you’ve been licking the pavement of Woodward Avenue. You vaguely remember arguing with someone about whether American or Lafayette is superior. (The answer depends on how long you’ve lived here.) You are not okay.
Step 2: Gather Your Ingredients
You need fuel, hydration, and just enough sugar and fizz to trick your brain into functioning again. Here’s what you’ll need:
- 8 oz Vernors Ginger Ale (because we don’t mess with weak ginger ale around here)
- 2 oz Fresh Orange Juice (for that vitamin C boost—you need it)
- 1 oz Tart Cherry Juice (because Michigan cherries fix everything, including regret)
- ½ oz Fresh Lemon Juice (to wake you up faster than a pothole at 50 mph)
- 1 tsp Honey (natural sugar, because we’re doing this the right way)
- Pinch of Sea Salt (you need electrolytes, trust me)
- Optional: 1 oz Coconut Water (if you really went off the rails last night)
- Ice (because warm Vernors is an insult to your ancestors)
Step 3: Assemble Your Hangover Cure
- Fill a tall glass with ice. If you can’t find a clean one, we won’t judge if you drink it straight from a Detroit Lions souvenir cup.
- Pour in the orange juice, tart cherry juice, lemon juice, and honey. Stir until the honey dissolves. (Stirring might feel like a chore in your current condition, but you got yourself into this mess.)
- Slowly top with Vernors. Let the fizz rise up like the ghosts of bad decisions past.
- Sprinkle a small pinch of sea salt. Don’t ask questions. Just do it.
- Optional: Add coconut water if you feel like you got hit by a SMART bus.
- Garnish with an orange slice or a Luxardo cherry if you’re feeling classy. (But let’s be real, you probably aren’t.)
Step 4: Drink and Recover Detroit
Take a sip. Let the Vernors burn remind you that you are still alive. The fizz will start waking up your stomach, the tart cherry juice will soothe the inflammation in your poor, aching body, and the citrus will remind your taste buds that real flavors exist beyond warm beer and Jameson shots.
Step 5: Evaluate Your Life
By the time you finish the drink, you might start regaining memories from the night before. Maybe you made new friends. Maybe you made new enemies. Maybe you tried to convince a bartender to play Bob Seger for the 50th time (they didn’t). It’s okay. What’s important is that you live to party another day.
Bonus Tips for the True Detroit Hangover Recovery:
- Eat Something Greasy – A Coney dog or Detroit-style pizza will absorb the remaining sins from the night before.
- Get Fresh Air – Take a walk near the riverfront. If that’s too much, at least open a window.
- Nap Like a Champion – Curl up under a blanket, throw on some Seinfeld reruns, and let the Detroit Reviver do its work.
So there you have it, Detroit’s official hangover drink. The next time you wake up wondering what happened (but mostly why), just remember: Vernors, cherries, citrus, and regret. Drink up and carry on.
Cheers to surviving another wild night in the Motor City. Now go get some Better Made chips and a nap—you’ve earned it.
