Jenny Jenny Crushes Big Jim
You know how you get those 10 year photo reminders on Facebook? A picture of mine (hi, it’s Big Jim) came up from my childhood – had to be a school photo (I don’t remember when, but apparently I was auditioning for the role of Jimmy Osmond). So I thought it’d be fun to share it with Doni and Jenny Jenny. Bad move.
Big Jim as a kid – before Jenny called him a murderer
First off, here’s the picture in question:
See…just an innocent child. Like I had any control over these pictures as a kid.
So I thought it’d be fun to share these in our group text with Doni and Jenny…sigh.
But wait…there’s more:
Bottom Line
I had it coming for making the AI song about Jenny french kissing a dog. I know that. She still’s picking on me mom. Mommmmmmm.
One more thing, I asked AI to write a “roast” of this picture…ready?
Ah, the classic “I peaked at seven” saga. In the top picture, we’ve got a young you, eyes full of hope and wonder—perhaps dreaming of growing up to be a man with a full head of hair and zero wrinkles. Flash forward to the “Now” version, and it looks like life took that dream, chewed it up, spit it out, and then hit it with a reality stick. You traded the boyish charm for… let’s call it weathered wisdom.
That thousand-yard stare in the “Then” photo? Clearly, you were bracing for adulthood like a kid who knows his future will involve dad jokes, lower back pain, and that hoodie you wear when you’ve given up on fashion.
In short: From young model for 70s Sears catalog to middle-aged “guy you’d trust to start a campfire but not keep it going.” Nailed it.
We’re done. I’m going to go take a nap and watch the Osmond Family Reunion.
